21/6/2024 0 Comments Climbing MountainsI recently painted 'High Hopes', inspired by photos I took with my phone. A kereru (New Zealand wood pigeon) flew towards me when I was sitting down, having a rest. Mt Tauhara, my local mountain was in view (to me) in the left. I used creative license to bring them together. I signed the painting, deciding on top of the mountain was best, before I painted the bird. I wanted to ascend that mountain even metaphorically. I am now offering original paintings for sale, as well as the fine art prints. This doesn't necessarily mean potential customers will know about this. I have had a lot of compliments on my art over the years, mainly from people who share mental health struggles, plus some other artists. That means I might have validation from those who connect with my struggles yet are not necessarily potential customers. I was hoping to make enough sales to cover my expenses plus a little extra, but this looks unlikely. I was originally saving some originals for a potential group art exhibition but this doesn't seem very feasible. I am feeling a little discouraged with painting at the moment, so I'm going to have a break from it, until I really feel motivated to paint (I have some ideas in mind). Switching Goals (temporarily)I am very prone to burnout plus I am managing complex disabilities (a mental injury from trauma, mainly). I work part-time in a low paid, low stress job. I do my creative hobbies as a therapeutic and meaningful exercise. This year, I took the risk to offer my art for sale online. I've managed to get up to date with accounts and taxation stuff (a chore which I had to do myself because accountants etc are too expensive for me). I still intend to paint but due mainly to lack of space, I won't try to be hardcore about it. I feel ready to try get back to writing a novel called Soar Purpose, the sequel to Pet Purpose: Your Unspoken Voice. Writing and editing my books is extremely challenging with a mental injury. Way more difficult than writing a blog post. Sometimes, my brain has struggled so much that I couldn't even fill out a 'simple' form. My books are inspired by my experiences (focus on mental health challenges) and I currently have two self-published books available for sale. The memoir, Bipolar Courage: Are You Sure You're Not Autistic? which I published last year, was awarded a red ribbon in an international writing competition. It's possibly a hypomania episode, as when I recorded some video updates on my vlog, I was going off on tangents a lot. Or perhaps, I just feel ready to pick this project back up? I pulled out the photos I took of parts of journals I want to use as raw material to trigger memories. The journals themselves were burned as part of sorting stuff for going flatting for the first time in decades. I've written an outline and I've started to summarise any key points from journals I might alter and use in the storytelling. Writing with a mental injury (primary diagnoses are post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD and bipolar disorder) is very hard, as my mind blanks things out, 'forgets', (then may remember in certain situations). This means I forget what I've just written, and it's a very long process to edit for consistency etc for something longer like a book. (My blog posts are minimally edited and are a form of processing somethings smaller - I can find it easier to type than handwrite). Climbing a Literal MountainI've been wondering about attempting to climb a mountain, mainly in memory of my Dad, who died last year. It was Dad who got me into walking in nature, since childhood. I used to find it so tiring but now I find it so important to help manage my mental health. I go for a walk most days and sometimes, when I'm not feeling as sore, I might attempt a longer walk. I have been diagnosed with a pain disorder (fibromyalgia) for decades. This, plus over 20kg weight gain as a side effect from medications, combined with the extreme energy fluctations with my psychiatric diagnoses, makes exercise challenging. I do have very strong legs though, from walking. Today, on the shortest day (in daylight hours) of the year, here in New Zealand (during winter), I decided to have a go at climbing Mt Tauhara. Last time I recall climbing it was when I was a teenager, over 3 decades ago. There are also family pics when we climbed it when I was a child. I have climbed it at least twice, possibly three times. Just snippets of memories. I figured I could at least try to climb to the top of the foothills (farmland). Then, if all going well, try some of the native bushland area (all sheltered by trees). I left my camera behind, just taking my phone, as my back gets sore with carrying the extra weight of a camera in my backpack. I took lots of pauses. It was sunny but pretty cool on the foothills. I had two hoodies to be warm enough. The views were lovely (I could only vaguely remember from years ago that I could see the lake). It felt warmer in the stepper mountain parts in the native bushland. Perhaps because sheltered from the wind; combined with my working hard. I took off both hoodies, so wearing a T-shirt (in winter). Some parts were quite steep, needing care not to slip and fall. One of the steepest parts was a drop higher than my knee - probably mid-thigh. Several other people passed me. After climbing for some time, with lots of breaks for a minute or so, I asked some people how much further. They said I was probably half-way and that it will get steeper. My lower back was a bit sore and I knew it would be hard on my knees to come back down. I didn't want to be too fatigued mentally and physically, as a slip and fall could result in injury. I'd gone further than I expected today and proved to myself that it was a realistic goal. I'd told myself (given myself a motivational speech on the drive to the mountain) that kids had climbed it (including me a child). People who looked older than me were coming down. A woman said she didn't make it all the way to the summit. I saw and heard at least six bird species. There were peeks of elevated views in occasional gaps in the trees. On both the way up and down, a little fantail was chirping on the fence near the sheep (the sheep had lake views, assuming they could see that far). Fantails remind me of Dad. I heard the sound of a kereru flying, so I walked over and saw one feeding in a tree (the phone is no good for that, so I will try take my camera next time). I love symbolism, so I saw the kereru as inviting me to climb the mountain. I painted this inspiration. Then, I acted on it. Then, was rewarded with the kereru, eating peacefully. It's definitely one of the more challenging walks I have done. I would like to try and lose a bit of weight and make another attempt. Some pics from my phone from today's effort: Which is harder? Writing a book or climbing a mountain?The information sign at the base of the mountain state the summit was 1088m and the distance (of the walking track?) was 2.5km. I can walk that distance on relatively flat land quite easily, most days (unless I have a particularly bad pain flareup). The steep parts and navigating tree roots etc made the climb challenging. I do some hill climbs as part of my walking.
Writing, editing and completing a book (with my disabilities) has been WAY harder. Anyway, I feel up to the challenge, of working towards ascending two mountains - the final book inspired by my experiences. Plus climbing a mountain that I've climbed before with Dad (also climbed Mt Maunganui). At my own pace, hopefully climbing Mt Tauhara this year and also making progress with writing Soar Purpose.
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